| Today, I diagnosed metastatic cancer in a new patient | | | | as much, if not more, than the person you hate. |
| who had just come to see me. I had to tell this young, | | | | Scientifically, it has been shown that despair pains you |
| beautiful, vibrant woman that did not not have long to | | | | mentally just as much, if not more, than actual bodily |
| live, perhaps a few months. There was nothing I could | | | | trauma. |
| do for her. All I could do was to tell her that I cared for | | | | So, should you choose "love", because it is the lesser |
| her. I could show her my professional "love." My | | | | of two evils? Well, I certainly do not think so. As I get |
| consultation report was faxed to the patient's referring | | | | older and accumulate more knowledge and |
| primary physician, and an hour later, the physician called | | | | experience, I realize more how little control I have over |
| me, in disbelief. Together on the phone, we could only | | | | life in general. Maybe you did not have a good |
| share a sense of profound loss. | | | | childhood, perhaps people have done horrible things to |
| You might read this and think: Love is useless in this | | | | you, natural disasters occur, and now you are helpless. |
| case. Love will not cure her cancer, nor will love | | | | Please realize that the only thing you have under your |
| protect her from the pain and suffering that is | | | | control is how you feel and how you will react to |
| imminent. And you would be absolutely correct. But | | | | external events. Unless you have a psychiatric illness, |
| what is the alternative to love? Is it hate? Is it apathy? | | | | you can choose to "love" or you can choose to "hate." |
| When I was younger, I used to consider that only | | | | None of us lives forever. Do you want to wait until |
| actions and accomplishments are truly useful. You can | | | | you're lying on your deathbed before you think "maybe |
| list them, objectively and concretely. You can measure | | | | I should have been nicer to this person or to that |
| productivity and compare the results to other people's | | | | person?" Or do you want to evaluate every day of |
| activities. But when there is no useful action, as in this | | | | your life whether you have contributed in some way |
| case, is there nothing left but despair? When someone | | | | some love to the world that day? I offer you my |
| hurts you, is there nothing to do but retaliate? Medically, | | | | humble opinion that "Love is THE answer - every day |
| it has been shown that hate hurts you physically just | | | | of the year! |